~ TheOldBarbershop ~: bAby seAl, collUmist

"TheOldBarbershop" - created along the lines of the old barbershops, same but different, where folks would gather to visit with friends - share life experiences - tall tales - or maybe discuss politics, religion, sports, news, weather, current affairs or just about anything interesting or imaginable

- "the free right to unbounded exercise of reason and freedom of opinion" - characters with character preferred ... "the only barbershop in the civilized world with such a veritable smorgasbord of divers and sundry features, all perpetrated by the most incomparable and sapient, albeit infamous, conglomeration of colorful characters ever assembled" ... with a little help from the misadventures of our friends in Washington, the Media, Major League Baseball, and the Atlanta Braves.

We thought it might be good to tell folks a bit about the old barbershop, its history and its barbers ... somehow I got elected ... that's another way of saying that the Southern Jackass is a whole bunch bigger than me!Miss Carol says I'm an old rambling wreck from Georgia Tech ... and all four are true, but I ain't no engineer! It ain't by intent that I ramble but as you'll see, it takes me four pages to write what others do in less than one ... advance sincere apologies! If you've read our story then welcome back! If not ... you don't know what you been missing ... Oh Boy! Please take a moment and find out why we call it Plato's Place!

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hello all

The Old Barbershop, circa 300 b.c. ... its first proprietor was also the founder of the Democratic Party though I understand he didn't attend this year's convention, some say it was due to gas prices but, I don't think he was invited ... nice fellow by the name of Democritus, though his shop didn't really start out having no name. Methinks you'll recognize the names of some the lead barbers during those early days: Anaxagoras, Empedocles, Parmenides, Xenophanes, and Socrates. Plato watched Socrates who taught him everything he knew about cutting hair ... turned the shop over to Plato and went fishing with Isaac Newton. Plato designed a complete set of new bowls ... of different sizes and shapes, and some high quality cutting tools too ... truly an advancement in the technology of the day ... and, man could he cut hair ... that was in about 387 b.c., based on some of his manuscripts recently sold on EBAY, that were so dated. He got so famous that the shop became known as Plato's Place, and the lead barbers that followed were famous too ... Speusippus, Xenocrates, Polemon, Crates, and Crantor ... every one a member of the Barbering School Hall of Fame. Plato's Braves

That's right, Plato's Place was a barbering school ... that's why some folks called it Plato's Academy ... he set the standard for barbershops ... they even had music for the barbers and patrons to listen to ... they talked about most anything and everything, including the Athens' Braves ... free candy and grapes too, same as us ... only different. Aristotle was a long time patron, cut a good head of hair, and made the hall too, but was never the Place's lead barber. Arcesilaus bought out Plato's Place in 265 b.c. ... remodeled and renamed it "The New Barbershop" ... ever since then, folks have referred to Plato's Place as "The Old Barbershop" ... it was before my time but folks say Plato hung a sign over the door to his Place ... "No free Hair Cuts" ... no, methinks that was something Polonius said to Laertes ... Plato's sign supposedly read "Let no one who cannot think geometrically enter". We looked for that sign all over the shop ... even under the floor and in the attic ... never did find it ... but, back in the Back Room under all the trash was a battered old sign ... so caked with dirt and crud that you couldn't even tell it was a sign ... not until we used some ST37 to clean it up ... "No Free Hair Cuts" ... it's true! we checked the county records and they show that Laertes owned the old barbershop long before we bought it. Dang! Double Dang!! Well that's a mighty valuable artifact ... and it would be neat to use it, but the Southern Jackass(SJA) thought it best that we hone our skills and get more patrons before adopting such a rule. Most folks would've been satisfied but finding that old sign really piqued my interest and I renewed the search for other treasures ... more money in finding such things than in barbering, methinks ... and besides, no folks to get mad when you snip off a piece of their ear. I finally found what I was looking for ... that's right, the ancient old sign that Plato hung up in the shop, back when it first opened ... "never give up" ... no, that's what I say, not the sign ... the sign reads "Let no unfair or unjust person enter" ... well, that's not exactly what folks thought it said ... but it was Greek to them so they didn't really know. old barber

Yes, I misuse and abuse this language I love ... sometimes even intentionally ... but, we must first laugh at outselves if we are to laugh with others ... and even were that not the case, folks usually see and hear what they expect and/or desire. Where am I headed? ... only TheShadow

The ShadowThe Shadow knows for sure, and he hasn't told me a thing ... there may be some misdirection for effect, but chances are it'll simply be me getting my bearings and changing course ... gee, haw, mush, whoa! We in the old barbershop like both Grand Opera and the Grand Ole Opry ... ain't much difference ... good barbershop too! Oops, almost forgot ... here in the new old barbershop, you have to stay alert ... else, no telling what you're liable to miss! We, especially me, like to embed hidden polls, audio, and video ... other stuff too! Them poles is pretty easy to spot ... you'll know when you see one ... just remember to toggle the pole to open and close. Whenever you see words in blue, likely as not there's an audio, video, or something else hidden behind it ... a single click is all it takes, well sometimes two. Speaking of getting your bearings and changing course ... you see where it says pages followed by them numbers in purple boxes ... I sometimes use multiple pages and this is just page one! Luckily for you, I'm the only one what does ...

Sometimes I think all great thoughts have done been thunk ... and all great deeds done been did ...Methinks it's as easy to become victimized by an overwhelming sense of irrelevance as it is by an unwarranted sense of relevance or self-importance ... I'm not sure which claims more victims, but there are a whole bunch of us that have tasted both ... that's for sure! ... Seems the old barbershop is all about history ... Our old friend the Christmas Stealer writes about it ... The "Weed's" dad teaches it ... Miss Carol studied it and we're all living it, whether or not we so realize. And, from a baseball perspective, for the last three years, come the All Star break, the Braves were it ... history. What we are, we are ... what we've been is history ... what we're going to be ... and do ... is history waiting to be written. As a result of what is, it's anticipated that changes are in store for the Braves ... we've already had some ... and more are yet to come, or so methinks ... ... and yes, for the old barbershop too! Dang, Double Dang! Oh the humanity!! ... There's nothing wrong with the Braves!! We can win it all, mostly with what we've got ... it's not a matter of money ... the talent hasn't disappeared ... it's the heart, soul, leadership and those things above the neck that may need fixing! We're still on the outside looking in ... but, close your eyes, use your ken ... there's nothing wrong with your vision, the picture's crystal clear ... No, I don't think this is going to be about baseball ... maybe, but rather what we've been ... what we are ... and what we can or will be. Mama always said ... and Daddy agreed ... first impressions are important, only in that they're hard to overcome ... and Daddy emphasized that it may take a man some time to establish his good reputation ... but only a moment to destroy it! Many of us can attest to the validity of that ... including me, Bobby Cox and the Braves methinks ... at least one or two Understood perhaps by few, and rejected by those who are victims of an unwarranted sense of self, is that we ourselves are the ones most responsible for the perceptions held of us by others ... Why all this talk about baseball and the Atlanta Braves here in the old barbershop? The answer is simple ... history! Jimmy Smith (JJS), The Southern Jackass (SJA) and I first "met" on a baseball blog sponsored by a "fishwrap" known as the "Atlanta Journal & Constitution" or the "AJC" ... yes, and young Matthew too. Miss Carol and I met long ago, back when Plato was still running the Shop, methinks I was intrigued by that blog ... well, to be honest, mostly it was this poor, befuddling Africian journalist from Uganda who seemed to be preoccupied with toes and their relevance to baseball performance. I couldn't help but feel embarrassed for him ... but, he had his tiger by the toe and wasn't about to let go, I thought. Because of my friendship with others from East Africa, I was aware of some of the many cultural differences, including their thinking and manner of self expression ... though I must admit that his were unique. While my experiences with them had never involved baseball ... soccer, a game of the feet, was a different story ... and of course, they were all into walking, running and bicycling. It did help explain his preoccupation with toes, I thought ... In spite of his awkwardness; his strange third person and lowercase manner of self expression ... for some reason I found him rather humorous and insightful. It wasn't until some time later that I found out that all that was but a sham ... there was no Jimmy Smith, Ugandan journalist ... that was just a character he made up to fool folks, like the screen masks the others wore, only different! His real name is James Jeffery Smith, born right there in Georgia, same as me ... his grandfather had brought his family over from Uganda back in 1941 as things were heating up in North Africa, settling in Cordele. All this knowledge he had about Africa came from what he was told by his daddy and granddaddy growing up ... and more recently, visits to his relatives back in Kampala. No matter what you may have heard, that's the real skinny! Regardless of the sham, or perhaps because of it, ... for better or worse, he's the real reason for my participation on the AJC's Braves' blog! Regarding the changing of perceptions held by others, Mama said "tain't easy McGee" Fibber McGee

... after the 'Fibber' ... "but, telling folks they're wrong is a knife that ain't gonna cut soft butter, much less the cake" ... Speaking of which, I can attest to that too ...

I knows that my abilities at self-expression are severely limited, and my bouts of "hoof-in-mouth" disease are infamous in some circles ... but, mine are always good intentions, at least I so rationalize, and do certainly so hope ... No, tain't easy McGee, but that's life and it's a ride that's been worth the taking, methinks ... and I'm appreciative of all who have tried to understand ... me, us and what we're about. I'm especially appreciative of the few crazies who have an understanding and appreciation of my own distorted sense of humor and what I sometimes try to seriously convey ... and all the resulting friendships ... goodness ... This isn't where I was headed ... how did I get here? ... or is it hear?

Yes, the insights, imagination and wit of James Jeffery Smith, the Ugandan journalist of Cordele (JJS) ... these are among my most favorite things. More importantly, he's my friend! Jimmy Smith

Nobody knows what Jimmy really looks like, at least until now ... he can say more with a couple of words and a picture than most of us can in two or three pages ... you'll find proof positive on the walls of the Shop and his frequent comments!

There you'll also find his ward and our favorite columnist, Baby Seal ... and his entourage of some very special friends! Like the wonderful Sarah Cannon said more often than I say "methinks" ... "Howdeeee! I'm jest so proud to be here!" with these two unbelievable talents ... and if that sounds contrived to you, then kiss my grits! No, I wouldn't wish my grits on anyone ... I don't eat 'em myself ... but, it's true, every word, give or take a lie or two!

Yes, the "Southern Jackass" was there too when I arrived ... No need to put up no picture, everybody knows what he looks like ... he's made sure of that and he's self named too ... did his best to convince folks he was what he seemed to be! Did a good job, he did ... some may wonder how it is that "SJA" received total and unequivocal acceptance from Bob, journalist ... while others did not? Have you ever pondered that? ... I'm sure some have and their conclusions would be most interesting. Could be it's because we're so much alike ... or maybe that opposites attract. I'll never tell ... but, I started calling him "The Southern Jackass, Most Honorable", almost from the beginning! I will tell you too that when he asked if I would like to help him fix this place up and maybe cut some hair, I thought he was plum crazy ... but being his friend, I couldn't rightly say no! It would have helped some had he told me that he was a master barber and the best danged wordsmith and story teller in the whole wide world! We're all unique ... it's just that the Southern Jackass and the Ugandan Journalist are so much more unique than others! It's hard to comprehend such creative genius ... but it's awfully easy to enjoy! ... For some strange reason, JJS gave me the title of "journalist" ... maybe because we took the Atlanta Journal when I was a little boy ... I thought it was a joke but it made me feel good that he did! The original Bob, journalist was far more of a character than a mask ... though that was never understood, for better or for worse, regardless of my repeated efforts to make it clear. However, my preoccupation with the importance of understanding meaning, motivation and intent rather than words was, and is, me ... like Jeffery says, what a man says is more than just a bunch of words strung together. The rumor that I psychoanalyze is ill founded too, a misconception and a joke ... indeed, it's something about which I know nothing, except that it's a big word ... but I do know the "why" is usually more important than the "what" ... as is effective use of the third eye and ear more important than the use of the other two, or is it four? Excluding those most severely victimized by an overwhelming sense of irrelevance, most of what the majority of us do is either agenda or self-interest driven. That's both good and bad depending on how well it's kept in proper perspective, or so I honestly believe ... of course I do support some agendae, oppose others ... stand up, stand up I say ... for that in which you believe ... better that than staying seated, methinks ... the King of England and taxes you know. "When you don't stand up for what you believe in ... it's much the same thing as standing up for those things you don't!" ... we didn't find no such sign but my guess is that Plato probably taught that in his barbering school. It seems to me that among those many forces deep down inside that causes the Southern Jackass to be what he is ... is a true blue, foursquare compulsion ... God didn't pass that around to everybody. For some, nay for many, friendships are a matter of convenience ... friends are but bedfellows based on agenda, and when the chips are down or adversity must be faced, those folks come up short, or at least those friendships become fractured ... not so with SJA and JJS ... They have that compulsion while most of us do not ... perhaps they do because we don't ... I believe we should, but I'm not sure it's a reasonable expectation. Compulsion or no, my friendships are not agenda based, and I treasure my friends ... all of them! I'm somehow reminded of having once been told of someone's disappointment in my liking folks who didn't like them ... 'twas the wrong thing to say! ...

In the Shop, I talk a lot about mirrors and self-portraits ... the perception that others have is one thing, how we see ourselves is another. The notion of mirrors and self-portraits ... seemed rather easy to grasp ... but, when you try to grab hold of it, things just ain't as simple as they might seem, ... ; Registration code (if you have it) ; Reglink opened in new frame? ; Name of new frame for reglink ; resolution (1-8) ; pause (value = milliseconds). ; Num. of horizontal tiles ; Num. of vertical tiles ; Num. steps for tile rotation (8 .. 32) ; Optional background image ; Red in background (0 .. 255) ; Green in background (0 .. 255) ; Blue in background (0 .. 255) ; Optional image over applet ; Over image X offset ; Over image Y offset ; Memory deallocation delay ; Task priority (1..10) ; Min. milliseconds/frame for sync Please download Java(tm). danged if some self-portraits aren't almost photographic in their reproduction while some mirrors give distorted renderings of reality. It's not enough to just use any old mirrors for reflection ... they must be of the right stuff and kind. I talk a lot about things of which I know nothing too, but if I didn't, I wouldn't have anything to say ... it's another thing that differentiates SJA and JJS from most methinks ... SJA's ability to reflect and look deep down inside ... and to be honest with himself ... is rare ... at least my experience has been that most either cannot or are unwilling to so do ... it is not just coincidence or happenstance that Polonius, a secondary character, is among the best remembered of the Bard's creations ... for his advice to his son Laertes ... "to thine own self be true" Why? Methinks it's because of recognition, not only of it's importance, but also it's rarity as an innate quality ... and for those who try, the difficulty lies within it's effecting ... I'm envious of this jackass, true blue and foursquare, who knows himself so well ... it's that for which I always strive but almost always fail ...

Most of us hear it ... then knowingly nod, hardly giving it another thought ... but, nothing much compares with it's profundity ... It's hard to find a post I've written that doesn't mention me mama. It's true that I sometimes take a little license when referring to Mama ... but, my mother is the picture I try to paint. She admonished me, it seems like 10,000 times, when I articulated and/or apologized for my weaknesses, limitations and faults ... "that's my boy you're talking about ... careful what you say"! She did far more than that when others joined in and articulated my weaknesses, limitations and faults! ... Now you have my perception of JJS and the true blue and foursquare Southern Jackass ... but after so writing and reflecting, I'm not sure that I can answer the questions ... truth is, I've forgotten what they were! However, it was rather obvious that them two were something other than how they were being perceived ... honest, consistent, of good heart, and opposed to apathy was the impression I then shared with others and I can assure you that I am now sure that they are indeed that ... that, and oh so much more! They're my friends, JJS and SJA ... so careful what you say!

Mother knew Polonius ... and agreed with him too ... though she would loan anyone in need anything she had, without expectation of it being returned, including money. Like Houseman's wisdom ... Mama's words weren't truly appreciated until long after they were received .. though they were the topic of frequent discussion ... Being true to yourself ... knowing yourself .. the individual behind the many masks ... it's a rare gift, perhaps the rarest of all .. the trick methinks, is knowing how to use it ... Knowing who and what we are ... recognizing our limitations ... shortcomings ... and weaknesses ... that's power that the majority of humanity does not possess. Unfortunately, those few so gifted frequently turn it into a liability rather than an asset. They allow the realization of their limitations ... shortcomings ... weaknesses ... and past failures or rejections to give them fear of failure rather than confidence in success as it should ... and when adversity is encountered, they see history repeating itself ... oftentimes giving up in frustration rather than defining and addressing the problems ... Those who confuse self-portraits with mirrors admire themselves and blindly go forth with total confidence, for they believe they possess all the answers, usually surrounding themselves with non-threatening, kindred spirits ... they are the truly enlightened! ... Say it ain't so Joe! ...

Back to the trick ... Thanks to Prince Albert Gore's invention ...

that which he purloined from Vinton Cerf methinks ... everyone has a potential audience of millions ... nay, billions I say ... and with such potential, folks can easily get disciples and a flock, no matter what it is they're preaching ... Polonius ... Mama ... Jesus Christ ... Buddha, and the Dalai Lama too ... they each said ... to thine own self be true! In plain talk, don't apostatize! Mama's admonishment was out of concern that I would allow critical self-evaluation to undermine my self-confidence, thus preventing me from being all that I could be ... and though I protested, methinks her concerns were probably well justified ... just think, I coulda been a contender ... I coulda been somebody! I'm still uncertain of where I was going and not really sure of where I've been ... but here we are, right back where we started again ... Yes, "TheOldBarbershop" is about history too ... we are what we are as a result of our experiences! Our views ... interests ... memories ... stories ... decisions ... beliefs, our likes and dislikes too ... all reflect our past history ... I hope others will share theirs with us ... in so doing, they'll be making history too ... TheOldBarbershop is diverse from most ... or I would so hope ... if not, you can rest assured that's it's soon going to be. "No Free Hair Cuts Here" ... well, maybe one or two, but everybody carries his weight ... our sign, all polished up and ready to be hung, is the one methinks Plato first so did, right here in the shop some 875,000 days ago, give or take a few ... "Let no unfair or unjust person enter." No, we ain't replacing no mirrors ... though we're going to watch them close ...

and if you can't think geometrically, that's okay ... the three of us can't cut hair neither, were it not for them bowls, but as you can see ... it was that or jail for Jimmy, SJA and me! It's done wonders for us too ... I've slept at the Holiday Inn Express twice, methinks SJA's becoming more famous than Chill Wills and jimmy smith is getting ready for a serious run for the Presidency! We truly love sports and our team(s) and that will always be on the agenda ... but for goodness sake, there are so many Braves' blogs already out there ... and Tigers ... and Mets ... and Yankees ... and Cards ... and Orioles too, just to name a few ... Ashu, our young barbering buddy from India loves Cricket and is a Manchester United fan too ... so have no fear, you can always talk sports here! Our vision is to feature a flow of diverse topics such as world affairs, politics, religion, tall tales, current events, true stories pertaining to actual life events and sports, including the Braves ... some topics that aren't presently being discussed on most of the other sites, and those which may not be warmly welcomed on many others ... topics such as those you might find if you walked into an old barbershop on a busy Saturday morning ... just a friendly and lighthearted atmosphere, with everyone being treated equal ... simply a place where folks feel welcome and comfortable discussing whatever might be on their minds ... a place that ultimately stands on no other foundation than that of the strength of it's characters and quality of it's content ... To this end we've added some "Special Features" and as with the Braves, more changes are yet to come and the future looks mighty bright indeed!

We've been truly blessed to add first Matthew then Miss Carol and now Ashu too ... to help with the barbering chores ... from three characters to six! There's always room for one or 100 more ... whether it be occasionally or all the time! You got a story to write, a memory to share ... or something important to say where comments won't do it justice, we'll find a barber's chair ... put your name on it, and figure out a way to git her did! It don't really have to be important ... What is important is that we share ... thoughts, ideas, memories, stories, and yes, recipes too ... if we don't, chances are, one day they'll be lost forever! Plato and them boys knew that. If we can bring a smile or two, maybe sometimes a tear ... cause somebody to pause and ponder ... and in the process make a new friend ... beats making money, now don't it?! Well, that's a bit about us ... folks that have read what I've writ know that Daddy said "you can't tell much about a man by listening to his well rehearsed and memorized spiel" ... he said that a long time ago but it's still true ... maybe more than ever before! For the few who have read this far ... you're either a glutton for punishment, a relative, or a throwback as rare and treasured as any antique, regardless of your age! The fad these days seems for everybody to network and add as many FRIENDS as possible ... we too want to add as many friends as possible ... we have no ads for you to see or click ... we're looking to make friends, real friends ... we hope you'll visit often and will take the time to leave a comment or two, if only to say hi, each and every time you do! Your comments are important to us barbers ... how else can we know if you want a Flattop, Mohawk or Mullet ... your nails polished or buffed? And besides, they make our day! While time changes most everything, our Proprietor's original greeting was truly

inspired ... and it's one thing that won't ... "Welcome to "TheOldBarbershop" ... characters with character preferred, ladies too ... please take a seat and wait your turn ... leaf through a magazine or shoot the breeze with a friend ... when it's your turn in the barber's chair, be ready to share an interesting story, a tall tale or whatever is on your mind ... tips encouraged and appreciated ... no topic off-limits ... if you can't behave, use profanity, pick fights or spit on the floor you will politely be shown the door" ... "Let no unfair or unjust person enter." That means we welcome all beliefs and points of view ... just keep it fair and keep it just ... that's a must! No free haircuts except on special occasions but the candy's always on the house! No matter the grandiloquence, regardless the form ... this is what "TheOldBarbershop" is to us ... this is where our passions lie ... it's of little significance whether we have a multitude of visitors each day ... or just a few ... as one good friend said, "to thine own self be true, to hell with the naysayers!"

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One of Miss Carol's favorite expressions ... reserved especially for me is You're a crazy person!! She knows me well ... the simple truth is that I'm crazy ... about her!! She wants you to know how much you all mean to her ... Matt, Jimmy and John, but especially all those who have visited the shop and had reason to pause reflect and smile!

TheSouthernJackAss' Stall!	Issues Facing Sports	Thoughts From Centerfield	Barbers International	Miss Carol's Salon ...
Links To The Old Barbershop's Special Features
Humor, Satire, Tall Tales ... all with a kick ... from the one and only ...	Tiger Woods	Braves Making Noise, Covering MLB Rumor Mill	Our Man In India	Ask Miss Know It All Incident At Niihau
Barbershop's Cookbook	Barbershop Poles	Magic Moments	Gone - Not Forgotten	Non-Political Politics
... Favorite Family Recipes ... Grandma's Teacakes		Priceless!	Alex Lees

Saturday, May 17, 2008

bAby seAl, collUmist

hellO everbudY, I wanT to thank sJa for giviNG me my biG braKe. I am proUD to be a coLLumist aT laSt. BeeinG a beet writeEr waS a deaD end joB and waS baD for mY self EsteeM. HoW do yoU like mY photO? In my iNitial collum I wilL talK abouT baSebaLL. and rooT beeR. anD soMe histoRy in honOr of MattHew. Hear goES:

jimmy smiTh and i arE watChing the gamE together and jimmy Smith just asKed me who my fAvorite braveS playEr is. that is an eaSy onE. my faVorIte plaYer is eScobaR. i likE how he plaYS. i thInk he iS the beSt plaYer on the teAm riGht now. anD i thiNk he wiLL someDay havE hiS own candY bar. escObaR maY be thE atLanta bRaveS fiRSt big leaGue shortStop. tiMe wiLL teLL.

i alSo liKe mCCann. he iS very gooD foR hiS agE at hiS poSitiOn. hE alSo reMinds me oF tHe GreAt seAl of tHe UniTed StateS wheN he rUns thE baSes. McCAnn eatS at tHe kryStal juSt likE me sO I reaLLy liKe hiM.

whiCh braVes plAyeR do I liKe tO interView? I liKE talKing witH cHippeR beCauSe it iS eaSy to Spell thE worDs cHipper can saY. somEtimes he wiLL use a biG word buT he doeSn'T knoW what iT meaNs. yesTerday he sAid hiS grOin was imProvinG as he haD applied somE mucilagE thAt huDDy haD leFt in hiS lockeR. i qm noT so SurE it waS reaLLy mucilage bUt if It was thAt wouLd be anOther pRoblEm foR chiPPer.

dO yoU liKe rooT beeR as mucH as I dO? someTimES i miSs havINg my seaL buddY, irving, arouNd. irVing iS thE kinD of buDdy yoU liKe to dRinK root beER wIth. IrVinG caN no loNgeR enJoy a FroSty muG of rooT beEr beCause IrVing waS cluBBed to WiThin an inCh of hiS liFe bY cRazeD SeaL clUbbers iN caNada. IrVing caN no lonGer holD hiS rooT beEr anD he doeSn't geT out muCh. He uSed to faVor A&W roOT bEEr buT nOW he can'T haNdle thE foAm. I thinK I wiLL haVe a rOOt beEr witH jimmy sMith after thE game anD toAst my gooD friEnd, IrVing.

and noW, some hIstorY aboUt thE wAr betwEeN THE sEAls. SeaLS wItH eArs veRsus seAls wiThoUt eArs. ThE SeAls wiThouT eaRs won bUt i wiLL alWays remEmber tHE moSt faMous liNe eVer uttered alMost liKE thE BritiSh are coMing, the BritiSh are cOming. it was friEnds, pinipeds, anD couNTrymen, lend me youR eArs". wHAt diD stOnEwall Seal want wiTh all thOSe ears? ThE resT of thE sTory in my NexT collUm.

collumisTs oFten haVe a signatUre linE to cloSe a coLLum. I am woRking oN mine. it may Be somEthing abouT seAl paSte but I am noT surE.

beforE i cloSe I muSt rePort that toNight's gaMe is gEtting verY excitiNg in the 9tH inNing. oops, never mind.

66 comments:

babY seaL, coLLumist said...: sOmethiNG is wrOng wiTH thiS piCturE. I am noT suRe whaT haPPened buT thAt is noT me. maYbe seAl piCtures arE not allOwed on heAr. i muSt aSk sjA.

oF couRse, RonAld reaGan did a loT for tHE sEaLs. BesT pResideNt ever foR seAlS and noT tOO baD for people, eitHer.

i maY haVe gottEn my hat piCturES conFused. AnyWay, iT is my 1St collum anD i will gET beTTer. I nEVer waNt to go baCk to beeT writIng.; May 17, 2008 10:28 PM
Matthew, Dad to Walter said...: Wow, Baby Seal is a great writer, but it took me a while to geT useD to some of the lEtters being CaPiTaLiZeD.

Nice history lesson. I thought the Britsh came, saw, and conquered, then went home for tea. Oh well.

G'nite all. Starting a new sermon series tomorrow, and I'd better hurry up and download it from the internet.

Joking, I'm just joking!; May 17, 2008 11:38 PM
Bob, journalist said...: Chopper, I do like your like Picture ... maybe it isn't you but 'tis a wonderful picture of a Great Man who was well acquainted with the Great Seal who hears everything but has no ears.

He was a "columnist" too ... at least he wrote many of his peaches.

Matthew ... I grew up thinking I had it made ... Daddy always told us we were "old money" ... and not "nouveau riche" ... I found out what he meant when, at age 12, I received a trunk full of old paper money from my grandfather ... CSA.

The joke is on me ... we may have lost the war but had I kept it, we'd be rich today!

To what did Chipper apply Tim's mucilage? Methinks, Huddy uses it to doctor-up baseballs and tonight you saw the results of Chipper having exhausted his supply.

I prefer a Coke or NuGrape ... but you deserve an A&W on me ... for a most excellent column ... and kudos for writing while on the DL!!; May 18, 2008 1:21 AM
baBy seaL said...: uH oh, sOmebody goT deleTed. wonder whO? not griNch . . . grinCH is comIng by laTer. will sOOn havE thE olD croWd blOGging hear and soME gOOD baseBall tAlk and haIr tonIc. i thinK the comEback laSt nigHt waS exCitIng untIl iT weNt awaY. thE prObleM is no 3-RUn hoMErs on a 3-rUn hO?mer team. that, and BoBBy cOx.

i aPoloGize for the WronG piCture on mY firSt collum. I wiLL geT it fiXeD.

caMpillO is goiNg to Be a StArter, and tHat sUrpriSes me. WhaT is goIng on With miKe hamPton? stiLL comINg back, riGht?

jimMy smitH is woRking wiTh me on caPitaLiZation aNe I WIll geT that fiXed, too. fliPPers.; May 18, 2008 12:12 PM
Bob, journalist said...: Apologies, Baby Seal ... I don't want you investigating and reporting on that despicable piece of work, "Howard Stern" ... young fellows like you need to avoid him like "Castor Oil" ... bad medicine ... but he's been trying to make folks believe that the our nice Miss Dolly talked dirty on some audio tapes ... must think it's funny to do things like that ... but here's what Miss Dolly had to say about that ... "I have never been so shocked, hurt and humiliated in all my life. I cannot believe what Howard Stern has done to me. In a blue million years, I would never have such vulgar things come out of my mouth. They have done editing or some sort of trickery to make this horrible, horrible thing.

Please accept my apology for them and certainly know I had nothing to do with this."

I don't like this "Howard Stern" fella and his kind ... but I do like our Miss Dolly ... a nice lady.; May 18, 2008 12:26 PM
Bob, journalist said...: Well, talk's cheap ... but telling ... take the test ... Yankee - Dixie Quiz; May 18, 2008 1:48 PM
journalist jimmy smith said...: oh, the humanity! it is bobby cox dog day at the stadium. at least there are a lot of dogs there today. bobby cox's dog was seen on camera with bobby cox's dog's paws in bobby cox's dog's nose. fitting. it is well known that a dog and a dog's master soon begin to look and act alike. the dog has begun to pick and bobby has begun to scratch and sniff and soil things. good fit. and soon the braves' lead will be gone.

this oakland team seems to hit the ball hard. green jerseys. the braves are in red jerseys. it is a festive time at the ted with thoughts of christmas dancing through chipper's head . . .

and gregor blanco ran hard to first base and beat a throw. has not yet caught "don't run hard to first base and avoid injury" thinking.

jimmy smith loves baseball and the braves but jimmy smith does not yet feel much for this team. not sure why. just not very excited at this point. should be ahead in the division by a few games. instead, acting like they don't care to win.

and andruw has flu-like symptoms. hmmm . . . flu-like? does anyone think andruw is drinking? can suggest that? maybe just partying a bit too much?

"looks like it hit the bag, boog" - say that real fast a few times. joe simpson continues to impress.

and boyer is about to let the a's back in the game.; May 18, 2008 3:50 PM
journalist jimmy smith said...: oh, the humanity! jimmy smith has beeN working with baby seal aLL day on capitalization and jimmy smith has the prOblem fixed! and what are the disappointments with this braves team? smoltz's injury? still on the golf course. must not be that part of the shoulder giving smoltz a problem. tushy's poor start? always starts slowly, but this is may and soon it will be june. frenchy's warning track power? fattened up to drive the ball into the stands. still no discipline at the plate and no discernable increase in power. and the young pitchers discarded by the braves are beginning to flourish and the braves now talk about starting campillo and carlyle. jair is the best this team can put out there right now and that tender young arm will be destroyed by bobby cox. oh, the humanity! it is not like jimmy smith to be so down on the braves. not much to like right now except for individual accomplishments. still a team game though.

and why is tushy so bad at scooping the ball? tech man. right? should understand how to scoop off the ground. physics. geometry. george p. burdell.

and grinch should be along soon. still blogging some other places and much in demand. still, will be here soon.

and who will ask the tough questions of bobby cox and the braves? reading the l.a. times and how the writers there deal with andruw makes this journalist understand why the players like playing here with no expectations for performance and no consequences for not performing. tough town in l.a. not so tough here where the local paper makes up pet names for the players.; May 18, 2008 8:53 PM
Bob, journalist said...: Boss, it's my vehicle for traveling to the shop what's on the DL ... certainly "Groin Like Symptoms" ... runs okay for a while and then just stops ... no advanced warning ... none. Hopefully this is one of the times it runs.

Jimmy I wonder if Tex has ever even heard of my friend "George P" ... I'd bet the journalist a case of "A&W" against one of "NuGrape".

Methinks the team's problem may be "that's baseball" apathy ... aka "Golden Parachuted Incompetence" ... it may be that chemistry, not physics is Tex's problem ... that or Chipper's making him look bad .. not just Chipper, he's got he lowest average on the team, methinks; sans poor Corky ... and it's a contract year ... Boras seems to have that effect on folks "don't get hurt extending yourself kid ... I'll take care of you ... think of next year".

Like I told the Boss when I called in, the Braves are 22-21 ... who could ask for anything more? It is a good question ... current averages ... Jones(410), Norton(323), Infante(318), McCann(316), Escobar(308), Blanco(308), Kotsay(301), Johnson(278), Diaz(268), Francoeur(263), and Teixeira(247) ... and they have the best team era in the league, methinks.

If they would but focus on besting the pitcher, each and every time ... they'd be fine ... methinks unbeatable, almost.

Methinks they misunderstand Polonius ... "to thine own self be true" means look in the mirror ... not look at each other in the mirror ... and not at your own self portrait.

Are they a team ... or a collection of individuals? Sometimes I think the mentality with the bases loaded, two out, bottom of the ninth and the winning run on second ... is "Grand Slam = 4 RBI!"; May 19, 2008 1:10 AM
hillbilly said...: Let's play "to"? Wake up!!!!; May 20, 2008 11:23 AM
Bob, journalist said...: Good Morning Hillbilly ... anybody, ... everybody!

The Shop's open but ain't nobody here ... game starts in a few ... y'all come on down and enjoy the doubleheader ... let's win two!

I've got to leave the shop ... disable my computer and totally reinstall the operating system ... the experts sat that it will probably be Friday before Chair #2 will be back in working order ... but, my Candy Jar is full and with SJA, Jimmy, Baby Seal and Willy here, I'll be back before I'm missed ... and I'll try to check in from time to time.

Later ...; May 20, 2008 1:10 PM
Matthew, Dad to Walter said...: Adios, Bob. Don't get lost inside your computer again, my friend.; May 20, 2008 2:01 PM
journalist jimmy smith said...: oh, the humanity! look at the e-mail just received by this journalist: "Save on the finest meats & cheeses at costco.com".

jimmy smith will be going to costco.com now . . .; May 20, 2008 9:05 PM
Matthew, Dad to Walter said...: JJS:

You'd be proud of me. For dinner tonight, we grilled boneless, skinless chicken breasts with barbecue seasoning, added bacon, and topped it with sharp cheddar and mozzerella cheeses. We topped it with Cattlemen's BBQ sauce and served it up on a kaiser roll. Two word: out standing.

Did the sale include pimiento cheese? Add it to Ritz Crackers and you have yourself a great snack.; May 20, 2008 10:27 PM
Grinch said...: Howdy, all! Good looking site you've got here. While I'm waiting for a chair, could anyone explain to me why Bobby pitched Acosta with a 6-1 lead and then again in the 9th inning of game 2 with a 4 run lead? Only 2 more games with the Mets and three with the d-backs before we get a day off; I guess Campillo will be the closer. Um, I mean Bennett. Um...does anyone know where Coralles or Yost are these days? Seems like their input would be handy.

Regardless, Campillo looked mighty sharp. Hope he's able to beat Carlyle out for a temp job.

How does a Grinch get an avatar around here?; May 21, 2008 12:01 AM
Matthew Collier said...: Howdy Grinch! I'd like an avatar too!

BTW, I really hope Esco is okay after that collision. That looked painful.; May 21, 2008 12:56 AM
Matthew, Dad to Walter said...: Sorry, the previous post was from me. I am trying to figure out this Blogger account thing.; May 21, 2008 1:02 AM
Matthew, Dad to Walter said...: The picture is my little boy with my Braves hat on-it won't fit me (stupid fitted caps from mlb.com); May 21, 2008 1:02 AM
Grinch said...: Got the same problem with the fitted caps...bought one that looked just like that at the park for 30 bucks and it's too small for my fat head. Nice hat, though.; May 21, 2008 2:08 AM
Gil in Mechanicsville said...: Good morning all, It was a good day to be a Braves fan yesterday with doubleheader sweep of the Mutts. No so good to be Yunel Escobar with the now gimpy knee. The kid is a gamer but best to rest the knee until the swelling goes down. Infante can fill in for a couple of days.

It has been a very trying and busy week for me as one of my mother's nurses quit. The wife and I have been filling the void until we can get her into a nursing home. I'm no spring chicken either and it has been tough trying to take care of her properly.

I hope the wine and cheese party goes well for JJS and Bob resolves his computer issues. Sorry to hear of your ills SJA, best to get plenty of rest. Don't worry about the shop, we will entertain ourselves....; May 21, 2008 9:39 AM
hillbilly said...: I was mad all afternoon about Bobby using Ohman, Boyer, and Acosta in the first game...I just new Campillo was going to go 4 innings and give up 5 runs and we would be stuck without our top 3 relievers, but boy was I wrong. Regardless of the fact that Boyer and Acosta have been burned for today's game, you have to love how this makeshift pen is performing. And Jorge Campillo? Are you serious?; May 21, 2008 9:45 AM
journalist jimmy smith said...: oh, the humanity! costco has cheeses from all over the world . . . and is featuring them this month. jimmy smith will have enough cheese to last for a lifetime. cheese balls. cheese in wrappers. cheese without wrappers. cheese blocks. cheese of all kinds. journalists love cheese.

and matthew is right . . . pimiento cheese is a delight.

and welcome to the grinch. good baseball talk here, grinch.

and now, braves . . . bobby cox managed last night the way bobby cox manages games. still, two wins.

hope bobby cox will not ruin the arms of the pitchers now pitching for this team. of course, if bobby cox does, maybe some of the ones already injured will be back in time to fill the void. and speaking of void, francoeur is resting. happy cheeks have not resulted in increased power. warning track power when contact is made. and look at mccann . . . could teach frenchy a lot about hitting. could teach most everyone on the team something about hitting.; May 21, 2008 9:57 AM
baby seal, coLLumist said...: sjA, wiLL you leT me posT some pHotos hear? I haD soMe phOTos posTed soMewheRe elsE but thEy are gonE. alSo, thaNk yoU foR the hErring.

speaking of HeRRing loSS, jouRnalist boB iS havIng moRE compUter prOblems.

I liKe thE buLLpen thiS yeaR buT I do not LikE hAving mY frieND bloKe hurT. I uSed to bE scAred of hiM wiTh all thOse tattOOs but Not noW. in faCt I noW haVe a taTToo of my oWn.

gO braVes!; May 21, 2008 3:47 PM
journalist jimmy smith said...: it is bobblehead night at the ted. and chipper is not the bobblehead, it is tushy. enjoy this bobblehead while you can because tushy is going to play in new york next year. hope tushy will learn to scoop the ball off the ground before the season is over and before the bobblehead no longer bobbles.

and what happens if a fan waits in line and gets a bobblehead and that bobblehead does not bobble? return? exchange? new spring?

and what is the condition of chino cadahia? still fit? and why is chino no longer seen on camera? can it be the pants?

and what beet writer offended smoltz and caused smoltz to say smoltz will not speak to another beet writer until smoltz is healed? was not baby seal-now a columnist.

and when will oil prices go down? must ask chipper jones.

and baby seal has taken a photo of jimmy smith and says that baby seal is going to post it somewhere.

and diane lane watch. still calling this journalist but still cannot make a decent pudding.

and memorial day . . . what are the plans of the bloggers here? jimmy smith is going to a memorial day observance and plans to eat some barbecue.

and journalist is enjoying some deligtful new cheeses. and where are the crackers? cheese and crackers reminds this journalist of mccann and frenchy. mccann is cheese to frenchy's cracker. think about this one, it is deep.

and hair tonic . . . not to be ingested.; May 21, 2008 6:38 PM
Joebrave said...: Joebrave,Is In DA HOUSE!!!!
Good day/nigt for the Braves Yasserday,kickin Mutts Buttocks!!!
Hello To All!!; May 21, 2008 6:52 PM
baBy seal, collumist said...: bRakinG neWs! theRe haS beeN a cHeese inCident iN the pRess bOx at tUrneR fiEld. jiMMy smith has caLLed 9-1-1, noT suRe why.
mOre lAter.

and mOre newS, boBBy coX waS seeN on caMerA picKing his nOSe. whIch bloGGers sAw it?; May 21, 2008 9:23 PM
Joebrave said...: Hello SJA, think I'll have a little of the top,and a shave.
The Braves lookin Mi-tee fine tonight. The Wife and Kids are fine,Since I last met up with all, things have been hectic to say the least.On April %th, My Nephew Tristan,was killed in a car accident,and his Brother Ashton has been in Egleston Hospital for Children.My Brother and His Wife have been non-stop at the Hospital for the last 30+ days.Ashton will be permanently brain damaged,anyone wishing to pay Ashton a visit may go to Carepages.com,create an account,and type in James Ashton Evans in the visit patient screen.
Anyways Hope all is well wit You guys...Best wishes
Joebrave.
P.s. Triple J looking Good!!!!!; May 21, 2008 9:43 PM
bAbY seAl, coLLumist said...: jImmy Smith diD noT comE homE aFter the gaME.; May 21, 2008 10:54 PM
Grinch said...: Morning, all! My bet with MetroMan about the heads-up series with the Mets this year is looking better and better. I sense much cold beer in my future. Have to find some that goes good with molasses candy.

Joebrave, sorry to hear about the accident; hope all turns out as well as possible.

Saw that a man fell four stories to his death at the stadium; not to worry. This man was from Cumming; JJS is from Cordele.

Kotsay's teammates said he was known for running around the clubhouse blasting music and doing whatever possible to fire his teammates up before games..."Of course in the Braves' button-down clubhouse, Bobby doesn't allow music so he's been trying to figure out what to do here." Wow. Robert wasn't so far off after all complaining about the no sunglasses on the hat and other stupid rules. I miss Coralles and Yost, as does the bullpen, I expect.

Sign me up for a mullet and a porn 'stache.; May 22, 2008 6:46 AM
journalist jimmy smith said...: it was a delightful green punch . . . or so this journalist thought. after consuming a near-block of imported cheese in the pressbox, jimmy smith poured a small glass of green punch to wash down the cheese remnants. oh, the humanity! that punch had some bite! and it went down like tonic. it was tonic! hair tonic! jimmy smith began to throw up all over the press box and all over a tiny little beet writer's chair (tiny beet writer, not tiny chair). jimmy smith was so sick . . . so very sick that jimmy smith had to call 9-1-1. after a trip to grady jimmy smith returned home this morning minus jimmy smith's watch and wallet and newly acquired tushy bobblehead. must have misplaced them at grady, huh? and now, jimmy smith is resting comfortably at home.

baby seal was kind to prepare a nice bowl of whelk for this journalist this morning. jimmy smith is not big on whelk but understands that whelk has some medicinal qualities. with a little buttermilk, whelk goes down like tonic. oh, the humanity! not tonic! journalist is feeling queasy now.

speaking of feeling queasy . . . last night's game proved bobby cox is back in the saddle, er, nose again. constant nose picking and rubbing of snot on the back of the wrist. let it be said that many months ago this journalist cautioned all against shaking hands with bobby cox. it was good advice then and is even better advice today.

and what will bobby find there someday? a misplaced championship ring, perhaps? lodged in the sinuses? wedged in the nostrils? can be removed surgically, right?; May 22, 2008 11:33 AM
Grinch said...: SJA, so I should expect a funky bass line and some bad pop-synth in the background when Bob shows back up? Barber pole? Oh, the (Herschel) Savagery!; May 22, 2008 12:49 PM
Grinch said...: SJA, so I should expect a funky bass line and some bad pop-synth in the background when Bob shows back up? Barber pole? Oh, the (Herschel) Savagery!; May 22, 2008 2:23 PM
Grinch said...: Now why in the heck it would double post two hours after the first just by me hitting refresh...; May 22, 2008 2:24 PM
Grinch said...: Maybe that worked...we shall see. I got a bunch of new pictures I'll upload shortly.

Funny how Bobby doesn't allow music in the clubhouse but obviously doesn't have a ban on pickin'...; May 22, 2008 2:55 PM
Grinch said...: BTW, sounds like I need to stay away from the tonic. Good thing I brought my trusty flask. Works for everything from depression to paint removal.; May 22, 2008 2:58 PM
Grinch said...: If Jimmy's wearing a Santa hat and drinking tonic, he might be confused with that Department store Santa who got busted a couple of weeks back going to Thailand for...um...extracurricular pursuits. Yikes. Methinks journalism is a wiser course, though it may pay less. :-); May 22, 2008 3:37 PM
baBy seaL, coLLumist said...: i aM trYing foR an aVaTar today. WiSh me luCk.; May 22, 2008 3:41 PM
journalist jimmy smith said...: check out this journalist's new avatar. baby seal is trying to figure out how to do one, too.; May 22, 2008 3:54 PM
Berigan said...: Man, gotta fine an easier way to get in! Doing something wrong, surely! ;)

Baby seal, excellent news on making it to collUmist! Say, can I borrow a fin, or a mickey fin??? Not sure what those are, but they say it all the time in the movies...well, movies made back in the day....; May 22, 2008 5:46 PM
Berigan said...: Seriously, how is everyone else getting signed in??? I come here, but can't post, cuz I ain't signed in. so, I have to go to my made up blog, sign in there, then backwards to the barbershop!

Weird. Plus, I see no place to create an avatar! I have a picture on my dashboard, but not here.....; May 22, 2008 5:57 PM
Berigan said...: I think we should lose the game tonight. If Santana loses, we sweep the Mets, Willie might go....Willie is the manager we want for the mets!!!; May 22, 2008 5:58 PM
Grinch said...: I leave to pour a Sam Adams and come back to find us two runs down. God must be a Miller lite fan.; May 22, 2008 7:32 PM
journalist jimmy smith said...: perhaps it is an acquired taste but jimmy smith is craving a glass of green tonic about now. yes, last night's was a tragic mistake but this time jimmy smith goes in with eyes open. and does anyone believe that the braves will not come back tonight? not this journalist. the team is playing well and the mets are not.

and now, avatars . . . berigan, jimmy smith will be glad to help berigan but the avatar may be unsuitable. jimmy smith has clip art from uganda. much like the ugandan street car, only different.; May 22, 2008 7:47 PM
Berigan said...: Proprietor, I now see the avatar...it was in the dashboard first...I guess I will get more used to the way to signing in eventually...just weird having to back up....don't see what it looks like now of course, since i am signed on.; May 22, 2008 7:53 PM
Berigan said...: Proprietor, sorry you are stuck with Nats and O's! Guess you are near Gil country then???
Weird(Need to stop using this word) seeing more and more games on the old TBS the last few weeks,( Peachtree)Guess there is some reason for this....; May 22, 2008 8:02 PM
Grinch said...: Be careful using big words around berigan; it can cause him to stomp his hooves, twitch and drool uncontrollably. :-)

The biggest mistake the Braves have made yet is not keeping games on TBS and promoting the %$#% out of them. This new ownership group isn't very savvy.; May 22, 2008 8:17 PM
baBy sEal, coLLumist said...: jImmY smIth is a jOurnaList bUt I aM a coLLumist. ChEck oUt mY neW avAtAr.

i am sO glaD to bE a coLLumist, fiNally. noT sayIng anYthinG baD aboUt bEEt wrIters but mY puBlisHer saYs bEEt wriTers are duLL, dumb, dIRty, desPiCable, and doPEy. i doN't thInk thEy aRE dOpey, moRe grUmPy. tOO mUCh cheeze.

iS the wHole wORld seeiNg thAt buBBa bURGer sign? ofFicIal buRger of the BrAves. buBBa. alSo oFFiCiAl thIrd baSeMaN.; May 22, 2008 8:17 PM
Berigan said...: Well, games should still be on TBS, can't tell me the lame-o sitcoms and bad movies ratings are that much better! Anyone can see any of those shows on their local tv....you can't watch braves games everywhere...; May 22, 2008 8:25 PM
baBy sEal, coLLumist said...: TOKYO (AP) - A Japanese farmer who committed suicide by drinking pesticide vomited the poison at a hospital before he died, releasing toxic fumes that sickened more than 50 people, the hospital said Thursday.

Doctors were trying to pump the 34-year-old man's stomach when he threw up, spraying his rescuers with chloropicrin, causing 54 doctors, nurses and patients to develop breathing problems and eye sores.

Ten of them were hospitalized themselves, and 90 hospital personnel had to be called in to help with the emergency Wednesday night, said Tomoko Nagao, spokeswoman for the Red Cross Kumamoto Hospital in southern Japan.

tHiS soUnds a loT liKe chEEze anD hAir toNic aT thE bALLpaRk. nOT a SuiCIde, thOUgh. thOUght iT wAs pUNch.; May 22, 2008 8:34 PM
journalist jimmy smith said...: pitcher imploding . . . everybody hitting . . . getting good pitches to hit . . . and francoeur comes to bat . . . still dumb.

this team has some fight in it. hard to tell when it started but the new players are making big contributions.; May 22, 2008 9:09 PM
Berigan said...: Proprietor glad you like the avatar! Some people don't, for some reason! ;)

I watch more Turner Classic movies than just about any other channel!; May 22, 2008 9:28 PM
Joebrave said...: Methinks I need a pedicure,Someting about whuppin some Mutts,makes me want a pedicure,Could it be that David Wright needs to Shave evryone on the Mutts........well You guys Know what I mean!! gnightall.; May 22, 2008 10:59 PM
Joebrave said...: Thanks For Checking in on him SJA> By the Way the Fat one is My Brother.; May 23, 2008 12:27 AM
Berigan said...: good morning! Is Willie still a met???? Hope he will be for awhile yet! :); May 23, 2008 10:19 AM
Hillbilly said...: Man, was that 3 days of good baseball, or what? A four game sweep in spite of Bobby's ugly bullpen usage to start the series. Somebody's living right.; May 23, 2008 11:04 AM
Berigan said...: right you are Hillbilly! Something feels different about the team...Perhaps some secret coaching sessions behind Bobby's back???

Can't wait to see them face the Diamondbacks, who are in a bit of a slump after the Marlins swept them...; May 23, 2008 12:55 PM
Anonymous said...: Welcome Joe Brave and Grinch! ... and Hi everyone!

Sweeping the Mets ... Goodness!

I'll be Back in Nashville tonight and should have my computer back up and running sometime tomorrow ... but looks like I lost the data on the drive containing my internet connection drivers, email history and old emails ... so would appreciate emails from all ... and physical addresses from those from whom I had same.

Thanks!!

Can't remember my password either ...
Bob, Journalist; May 23, 2008 1:11 PM
journalist jimmy smith said...: whoa! there goes another one. did bloggers see that one? and ears, jimmy smith has cut off a few ears today. journalist regrets that. must keep the ears still while in the chair.

and speaking of ears . . . bobby cox has now started digging in bobby cox's ears. what will be found there?

and who will start at second base?; May 23, 2008 5:21 PM
journalist jimmy smith said...: breaking news! bobby cox found it! finally, bobby cox reached in and pulled out a new contract! so that is what bobby cox has been looking for . . .

wouldn't want to handle that contract, though.; May 23, 2008 5:27 PM
baBy sEal, coLLumist said...: bRaKinG newS! boBBy coX haS sigNed a neW contRact. FrAnk WrEn haD to tHrow awaY the peN. StilL, boBBy coX wiLL be baCk next yEar. scoOped oThEr coLLumists bUt noT jimmy smith.

moRE neWs dUrinG the gaMe.; May 23, 2008 5:34 PM
baBy sEal, coLLumist said...: bRaKinG neWs! brAyaN peNa haS beeN dESIgnated for assIgnMent. eVrybudY knoWs wHy.

anD jimmY smitH is beING couRTED bY the ajc.; May 23, 2008 7:19 PM
Grinch said...: Willie Randolph's an Uncle-Tom-come lately. Anybody awake up in heah?; May 25, 2008 12:20 AM
Bob, journalist said...: I am awake but my computer ain't ... hope to have things back up and running by tomorrow evening ... at least to the point where I was last Tuesday morning ... what few folks know is that in the process of changing operating systems, I crashed both this and my old computer, losing one hard drive and the data on two 250 gigabyte hard drives ... one of which contained my email contacts and archived emails.

And, of course, the Windows 2000 Server version of Outlook won't read the Vista Windows Mail files so I don't have the current emails either.

Grinch, methinks Willie's toast rather than anybody's uncle.

Nice win ... maybe Jeff will now be able to exercise some patience and best the pitcher ... but, we'll take luck too.; May 25, 2008 12:51 AM
baBy sEal, coLLumist said...: haPPy memOriaL daY weeKend everBudy! jiMMy smith is grIlliNg ouTdooRs for Us toDay unLess the blUe wErms arE ouT. I reAlly liKeD FrAnCoeuR'S walKoff hOmer bUt I hOpe iT doEsN'T maKe hiM a baD bAttEr agaIn.

tHis bloG is a littLe SlOw bUt it maY juSt be the hollyDay; taKes tiMe to poSt wHen yoU coUld be eAting baRbeCue.

We neeD soME morE bAseBall talK on heaR. and whElk, moRE whElk tAlK, too.

I aM impRoving on capiTaliZatIon bUt hAve a WaYS to gO. flipPers.

today, fiRewoRks. hOPe bobbY doesn't geT startLed with hiS finGers in hiS noSe. coulD puncTurE somEthing.

anD tOO manY latIns in thE clUbhouSe for soMe of the MetS plAyers . . . whAt woUld thEy do hear wiTh Cha cha chIpper and Cha cha chinO? noT polIticAlly coRRect but reMember i aM a coLLumist.

haVe a gOOd day, evErbudY!; May 25, 2008 10:01 AM
Berigan said...: Bob, sorry you are still having trouble with your computer!!!!
Do you need folks to send emails to you, or were you more concerned about losing old ones????; May 25, 2008 3:26 PM
journalist jimmy smith said...: tussling with baby seal in the backyard and this journalist was suddenly beset with back spasms! that's right, back spasms. baby seal came running/scooting by and this journalist reached down to pick up baby seal when suddenly, back spasms! jimmy smith immediately called in sick to sja. can't do journalism with back spasms. sja arranged for this journalist to have treatments even though today is the sunday before memorial day. treatments consist of sitting in a tub and drinking a cold glass of green tonic with a little umbrella in the glass. journalist hopes to be ready to do journalism later in the day.

and now, nascar . . . yup, hind tars blew.; May 25, 2008 8:14 PM